Request help

The Bible says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but the wise listen to counsel.” (Proverbs 12:15) Humanity was not meant to live in isolation, but in community. Living life as the Body of Christ means living in relationship with others, and when we live in community, we seek the counsel of other Christians. There are times when we get stuck. Whether it’s a difficult decision to make, an unresolved issue between a husband and wife, or a serious problem in our life or marriage, we all need help from time to time. Too often, pride gets in the way and we think that other people shouldn’t know about our problems. Isolation and trying to deal with problems on our own is unbiblical. God provides help through the Church—His Body. Paul’s letter to the Galatians includes an exhortation to “bear one another’s burdens.” Why? “And in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Fulfilling the law of Christ means loving others by being available, praying, and encouraging one another when we face problems. Sometimes these troubles can be overwhelming, and we need more than just a friend to care for us. We may need to seek the counsel of a pastor or even a professional Christian counselor—someone prepared to help us through the problems we are facing. The problems people face can vary greatly in severity and complexity and may require specialized help. Use the chart below as a general guide when considering seeking advice or recommending help for another person or couple.

Most marital problems can be solved. If you can’t solve a problem using the tools provided in this book, get help! Many of the problems couples face can be solved with the help of another couple who offers an alternative perspective, but when you are facing bigger problems, analyze and pray about where you can find help. Ask for recommendations from friends, and whether you are considering help for yourself or recommending help for someone else, make sure that the potential counselor has a biblical worldview and is pro-marriage. Each counselor brings his or her own values and beliefs to counseling, and you should ask questions to make sure the counselor’s perspective aligns with yours even before scheduling a meeting. If the counselor is not a good fit for you, end the counseling session and find another counselor. Counseling is available if you need it—seek counseling if you are having difficulty resolving the issues you are facing.

1. Mild problems: Anxiety; Negative feelings; Grief caused by a loss; Adjustment problems; Relationship problems;

Help can be offered by: Pastor, lay counselor, or a mature, experienced Christian.

2. Medium problems: Moderate problems; Anger problems; Depression; Intense suffering; Problems affecting daily life; Problems in marriage;

Help can be provided by: Trained counselor

3. Severe problems: Mental disorders; Suicidal thoughts; Chemical dependencies; Inability to function; Violence/abuse;

Help can be offered by: Therapist, psychologist or Christian psychiatrist.